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Since leaving Bravo’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2020 after three seasons, Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave has been busy.
When she’s not encouraging other women to be their best selves through her lifestyle and fitness company, Teddi’s All InArroyave, 41, brings lightness to the world as co-host of the hit podcast Two T’s in one pod, alongside Real Housewives of Orange County’s Tamra Judge. But maintaining work-life balance is the top priority in the reality star’s life, although she admits it’s not easy.
“People will always ask me, ‘How do you get that perfect balance?’ It seems like you have everything figured out with all the kids and work and your relationship,’ and it’s not the truth,” the mother of three tells Yahoo Life. “The truth is, it comes in waves. If you set the people in your life with expectations for what’s happening in your week, that’s where we really thrive.”
Keeping a firm schedule is key, she explains, especially when it comes to planning time with her children: Slate, 9, Cruz, 8, and Dove, 2, who she shares with husband Edwin Arroyave.
“If I know I have a really busy day at work, I tell my whole family during our morning. I say, ‘Guys, just so you know, this afternoon, mom might be a little tense and has absolutely nothing to do. see with you I just want you to know that work is very busy today.”
Although Arroyave, the daughter of singer John Mellencamp, has since enlisted help with the kids after giving birth to Dove in 2020, she admits it took her a while to get up the courage to ask.
Former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave is getting used to finding balance in her 40s. (Photo: Getty; designed by Quinn Lemmers)
“In the beginning I didn’t have anyone to help me with Slate and Cruise,” she says, noting that she decided to leave her equestrian profession to spend more time taking care of her family. “Once I had both of them, I had this really strong guilt, like, you can’t possibly ask anyone for help because you stopped working for it. I didn’t ask for what I really needed.”
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Being the daughter of a celebrity, she explains, adds even more pressure.
“The pressure you put on yourself when you come from a parent who’s in the spotlight, and you want to be in the spotlight yourself, is a lot,” she says. “It’s going to be kind of sad, but I really wanted my dad’s approval. You want that dad who’s so successful to look at you and say, wow. And even though they were probably like, wow, before most kids. I know who have parents who are really amazing at something, their kids will take that pressure.”
Arroyave stresses the importance of being transparent with her fans, explaining that she never wants “people to think that something happened naturally if it didn’t, because I don’t want people to feel alone.”
That’s a lesson she’s learned with age, she says, recognizing that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but of strength and responsibility, a message she hopes will resonate with other women. This mentality, in turn, has also nurtured the relationship with her husband.
“After 11 years of marriage, I would say that work is still needed. It will never be easy,” says Edwin. “As much as we want [husbands] for being mind readers, they don’t get any better, and that doesn’t change the longer you’ve been together. The other thing is that we really try not to take each other too seriously. He knows I’m very type-A and organized and I like to be on time and that’s just who I am by nature, and he’s really flying. [the seat of your pants]. We’re so opposite that way, but we laugh about it now, whereas before we were like, “That’s not me!”
Standing firm on what she wants, including her decision to get a neck lift earlier this year, is par for the course.
“Edwin, when it comes to surgery, for my breasts and for my neck, he’s like one of those people who says, ‘I don’t even want to know,'” she says. “As long as I’m happy, Edwin is happy. I don’t want to never look like myself. Would I get a complete facelift in, you know, 20 years? I have no idea. Probably! Like, I can’t say, but right now there’s nothing I feel like doing.”
While she admits she’s never been a “number cruncher,” at 40 she welcomed new insights into how Arroyave wants to spend her time.
“The biggest thing that keeps me going and keeps me excited is that I like to keep evolving and changing and figuring out what makes me happy,” she says. “Yes, of course I work very hard. Sometimes I work, you know, 12-hour days or 14-hour days, but I also find my work fun. These are things that I like and things that I’m passionate about. These are things that make me feel good or that I’m laughing while I’m doing it”.
Such was the case with the podcast he co-hosts alongside Judge, an experience he never anticipated at this stage of his life.
“Suddenly it’s number one every week,” he says of the success of Two T’s in a Pod. “Our expectations were like, OK, we’re two fired housewives. We’re going to see what happens, and then it really took off. It’s an exciting twist that just reminds us, like, never give up, keep going focusing on things you’re good at and enjoy doing.”
“To feel good about yourself, at some point you have to be unapologetic and for me a big part has been the power of yes, but also the power of no”, he reflects. “You can laugh at hate. You can laugh at fun. You can laugh at all different things and as long as you surround yourself with real people who tell you how it is and the truth, that’s what matters in the life. I’ve been able to do that. So I feel very lucky.”
— Video produced by Stacy Jackman
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